On this day on 2nd
April in 1973 I gave birth to my first child. I was in my village fro preparatory
holydays of my crass 12th .I had just turned 19 a few days before
and although I had managed pregnancy and birth quite well my first face-to-face
with my beautiful daughter was daunting.
My mother accompanied
the village midwife of our village named jhabbad ki bahu. The previous day in
the evening mom called for a less experienced midwife to check that delivery is fallowing our it’s just
the false pain. She declared a welcome for the baby. And the next day at 8:PM
my daughter came in this World. It was my grandma who sandwiched the new baby
in her daaman(skirt) while sitting on
piddhaa beside my bed.
After counting toes
and fingers and conducting all the perfunctory checks new mothers feel
compelled to perform since no one’s word will do until perfection has been
established for oneself, I knew I had to fess up, and straightaway.
Just after birth holding her closely, I gazed into
her lovely, aware eyes and declared: I have no idea how to be a mother will probably screw up miserably and
often … but will do the very best I can.
I have frequently
repeated a version of this that insists she has grown into the woman she is —
successful, happy, secure, sensible, beautiful, smart, funny and so much more —
not because of, but in spite of me.
She agrees with
that in some fashion, deciding long ago not to follow in any of my staggering
footsteps, but rather forge a determined path of her own, one that
intentionally avoided the pits I toppled into, scrabbled over obstacles and
built bridges rather than burned them.
Her efforts have
been rewarded. She is amazing, and she is happy.
The gift I gave the
world this day 37 years ago was a contribution significant enough to validate
my existence, and is the gift that keeps on giving as her daughter carries it
forward.
“Sing out loud in the car even, or
especially, if it embarrasses your children.” ~ Marilyn Penland
“If you must hold yourself up to your
children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an
example.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
Happy birthday, dear.
xoxo
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